Self-Pity Is Self-Defeating

Self-Pity Is Self-Defeating
Through the Fog I know we all go through times of feeling sorry for ourselves, that's inevitable with chronic illness. I've had times of crying because I wanted my old life back — just ask my husband. I want to address a lifestyle choice of self-pity; it's self-defeating and may cause flare-ups as well. Merriam-Webster defines self-pity as: "a feeling of pity for yourself because you believe you have suffered more than is fair or reasonable." I'm pretty sure we can agree that there are times when we believe we have suffered more than is fair or reasonable. The problem comes when we stay there. Self-pity is pretty much adopting a victim mentality. Although it can be a self-soothing mechanism, that can help us later in being able to accept our changing circumstances, many times we make a nasty habit of it. Self-pity can trap you in the quicksand of despondency and despair. Don't let it! Try things like positive self-talk or using daily declarations. Call someone who is able to speak words of life over you. Smile often, it really does help to lift your mood. Put encouraging post-it notes everywhere. Listen to uplifting music. Do whatever it takes to stay more positive and upbeat. It won't be easy, and you will have to fight everyday to stay positive. Just like how God's mercies are new every morning, you get a fresh start every day you wake up. When you seek how you can serve someone else, you effectively kick self-pity out the door! Joy then takes its place. It's important to get plenty of rest, becaus
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  1. Sha'ula says:

    Thank you Robin. I applaud your diligence in writing Through The Fog which is so aptly named. I’ve had both CFS and Fibro for 30 years and your blog has really helped me especially because it seems only those of us who have this comprehend the ordeals of these diseases. It’s even harder when spouse and employer get frustrated because he wants you to be the old you and you can’t now, matter how hard I try to fake “the old normal” it just backfires. Then add to that trying all the plethora of aids such as supplements, vitamins, essential oils, trying all kinds of diet changes, chiropractic measures, numerous horrific medication trials, massage, acupuncture, tai chi, GET, yin yoga, heat, tens unit, CBD, warm salt water therapy, daily wellness meditation, breath work, CBT, prayer, etc. etc. etc. and staying pollyanna positive and people still get frustrated with you or the disease. If I were in a wheelchair people would be the opposite. Maybe I should try getting and using wheelchair as people would be more sensitive. Currently I have a chiropractor, massage therapist, yoga teacher, tai chi teacher, elliptical for GET, heated swimming pool, urologist, gastroenterologist, audiologist, family practice, rheumatologist and on it goes. Sigh! Hang in there fellow survivors these diseases are better than some. Keep a smile in spite of it all and you’ve gained a win. Shy.

    • Robin Dix says:

      Shy, thank you so much!! Never ever apologize or try to be someone that you’re not. Other people will have to change their perspective, or not, that’s their issue. Just be true to who you are (although that changes daily lol). You sound like someone I would enjoy spending time with ????????

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