Don’t Stop Those Tears!

Don’t Stop Those Tears!
I cried easily when I was a child. I still do — perhaps more now than during my childhood. At school, fellow students mocked my behavior. At home, my parents, having survived the Depression era, encouraged being tough rather than expressing feelings.  To avoid criticism, I learned to hold back tears and hide my emotions. I became an expert at distraction, mainly in the form of humor or sarcasm. Those were socially acceptable, while tears were not. So successful was I at swallowing negative emotions that they didn’t emerge until adulthood. When they did, it was in the form of physical symptoms. Hello, fibromyalgia! Psychotherapists have helped illustrate the relationship between my stifled feelings and the varied physical symptoms I’ve developed. After many years of study and therapy, I read a wonderful book called "The Divided Mind" by Dr. John Sarno. It summed up everything I'd learned in a way that resonated with me.  That newfound knowledge was encouraging. My assumption was that changing my behavior would improve my health. However, old habits die hard. Despite my valiant attempt to “let it all hang out,” acknowledging and expressing negative feelings are skills most easily learned in childhood with influential adults as role models. Having missed that opportunity, I compensated with self-help books and continued therapy. My efforts have resulted in an improved ability to detect emotions in other people. However, recognizing and expressing my own emotions remains challenging for me. One significant improvement is that I no longer try to suppress my tears. I recognize them as the result of being unable to express my emotions verbally. If I feel tears coming, I just let them flow.  A perfect example occurred three days ago when my 11-ye
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  1. Tracie says:

    I don’t want to have fibromyalgia.
    I feel bad for feeling bad.
    I am not being treated well
    I feel like giving up.

  2. Shannon Higgins says:

    I feel the very same way you so often but I do not allow myself to give up. I’m not sure who is not treating you well but what if you were to educate them about fibromyalgia, perhaps they would be more understanding.

    It will be very important to get support from a therapist that specializes with chronic pain so you can have someone who treats you well and helps you encourage yourself.

    Take care of you. There is life beyond fibromyalgia. We just have to sneak in the moments on our good days. You are loved and you matter!

  3. Brook Eggleston says:

    Don’t give up! You will have better days! I’m 71 and in better shape than I was at 50! Most people simply do not understand. They are lacking the necessary points of reference. Only Fibromites truly understand Fibromites. Normals don’t get it. It’s not really their fault. They see all of the Lyrica ads on TV and think that FM is about pain and nothing more. To be fair, no Fibromite I know has the exact same symptoms I do. My Internist told me that none of his FM patients are receiving the same treatment. They’re all different. So, explain what you can, and try to have a sense of humour. I know it’s not easy, but it really helps. If I wasn’t able to laugh at myself I would have been dead thirty years ago!! There are good and bad days ahead, but even in the bad days you will find good. You don’t want to miss any of them!!
    Blessings to you . . .

  4. Jenny Schossow says:

    I just today, July 23/2020 found this website & after looking it over, decided to subscribe to it. The magazine I have subscribed to for years is no longer available, “Arthritis Today”, and I need a new source of updates, reviews, and anything I could learn that is new or that I didn’t know after all these years living with Fibro and several other Autoimmune Diseases. I’m looking forward to this new venture of having my first “magazine” online! Jenny Schossow

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