Learning to Let Go of the Guilt

Learning to Let Go of the Guilt
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Through the Fog by Robin Dix

I’ve noticed how as a community, we are really good at experiencing feelings of guilt. Perhaps some of that is cultural, including the expectations we perceive or that have been placed upon us by others. As difficult as it can be, we need to work on letting go of the guilt.

Sometimes even talking about our fibro induces guilt, because it’s invisible and it can be difficult to explain. We worry about telling our boss, because we don’t want them to think we are making excuses. We worry about telling our co-workers, because we’re afraid that we’ll lose their respect. 

We feel guilty about how our illness impacts our family and friends. We put off asking for help because we feel like such a burden. I’ve never felt that my husband or kids were a burden when they were sick or I was caring for them after surgeries, but I feel like one myself now. 

I feel guilty because my husband does the majority of the cleaning and all of the shopping. I truly appreciate it, but the guilt is there. I feel enormous guilt when I have made plans and have to bow out at the last minute because of energy constraints or just not feeling well. 

We did not choose to have fibromyalgia, and for the most part, our symptoms are not under our control. I believe we need to extend grace to ourselves and start letting that guilt go. It doesn’t serve anyone, least of all ourselves. Letting go is a conscious decision that we make more than once. 

I believe that focusing on each day as it comes and letting go of the past, as well as not projecting into the future, will bring a lot more peace and a lot less guilt. I’m thankful that my kids were grown before I got really sick, otherwise, the guilt would have been overwhelming.

One related study mentioned that, “Women felt guilty that their husbands had to undertake more household responsibilities and felt guilty that they were unable to give their children the attention they deserved.” 

I think that anytime we carry less than our weight, or what we perceive to be so, we will experience feelings of guilt. The hardest and best thing we can do is to let it go, learn to accept and be OK with our limitations, and ignore any comments that seem to produce in us those feelings of guilt. We can only do what we can do.

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Note: Fibromyalgia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Fibromyalgia News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to fibromyalgia.

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