To me, not much is scarier than falling or even just the inability to get up off the floor.
I have severe muscle weakness, particularly in my legs. Just this morning, I was sitting in a very low chair to clean out the cat litter box. Usually, I can push up on the arms and stand back up, but not today. My husband was at an appointment and I was frustrated, angry, and scared. I scooted on my bum over to a soft recliner and tried to climb onto it, to no avail. My arms aren’t strong enough to pull myself up and my legs were having none of it.
I sat on the floor for five minutes with my cat staring at me as if to say, “What are you doing down here?” I knew I could wait for my husband to come home or I could really work hard at getting up in that recliner. My arms aren’t much stronger than my legs but I managed to do a crab walk backward, pushing and leaning my way into the chair. By the time I reached a sitting position, I was thankful but exhausted.
I’m aware of the adage that says if you don’t use it, you lose it. It’s difficult for me to exercise much due to fatigue levels that keep me mostly in bed. I’m sure a big part of the muscle weakness is due to that, just as I’m sure part of it is due to my age.
My leg muscles have become weaker and more fatigued over time. It’s now been over eight hours since the incident this morning and my muscles still have not recovered. I’m so thankful that I have a walker, as it helps me get from one place to another without feeling like I’m going to collapse. Part of me wonders if there is a wheelchair in my not-too-distant future.
I allowed myself tears of frustration for a short time, but then I just needed to get on with my day. It’s times like these that make it difficult to stay positive, but I’m determined to do just that!
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