Some Days the FM Pain Just Wears Us Down

Some Days the FM Pain Just Wears Us Down

Through the Fog
I know you may not feel particularly strong, but even on the days when the pain wears you down, you keep going. Somedays are challenging to keep going, especially when it feels like you are barely keeping your head above the water. That’s OK; it’s what fibromyalgia does to us. Just keep in mind that that this, too, shall pass — or at least not feel quite so bad.

Believe me, I’m speaking to myself as much as you.

Do we just lie down and quit? Give up the fight because it’s just too darn hard? The chronic pain of FM brings us to the precipice of giving up so many times. I would encourage you to step back and give yourself permission to cry, or scream, or just crawl under the blankets when you need to. But don’t stay there.

The chronic pain of FM interrupts our sleep, and can lead to depression. It drains our energy. It’s a constant companion that causes frustration and makes us angry at times. Sometimes we’re prone to give in to the “Why me?” moan, which is an invitation to a pity party of epic proportions. It also makes us difficult for others to live with at times.

Pain wreaks havoc with our ability to concentrate and interferes with our social life. It’s just plain exhausting! Listen to your body, and when the pain is overwhelming, do the things that bring you the most comfort. (Perhaps use heat to alleviate as much of it as you can.)

It’s good to do things that distract us from our chronic FM pain. Activities like watching TV, reading,  listening to a good audio-book, listening to music, playing solitaire, etc., can be great distractors.

What motivates YOU to get through your tough days? Is it your faith, your spouse, your kids, your friends, your pet(s)? Looking forward to an event or vacation? We all need something, or someone, to keep us moving through the pain.

Pain comes and goes in various degrees from day to day. Let’s take our better days and do something that brings us joy. It will help us get through our not-so-good days.

Don’t let the chronic pain of fibromyalgia defeat you.


Note: Fibromyalgia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Fibromyalgia News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to fibromyalgia.


  1. Denise Bault says:

    The one thing that always brings me relief is my pet. I adopted – or should I say she adopted me – a beautiful little kitten who is now 2 years old. She is always there on my worst days, just lying next to me, bringing me comfort. Some days she’s like an automatic heating pad! I thank God every day for bringing “Sweetpea” into my life. What a sweet little soul…if only people could be as intuitive as animals.

  2. Kathy says:

    Spoken like a Fibromyalgia champion. It helps to know that we can vent here with friends that understand the not so good, the bad and the ugly. I stay focused now on the new options for pain management. I have listening to bio-feedback on my cell phone to rest for 15 minutes several times a day and at bedtime. It really helps to stay focused on the calming words as opposed to the pain. The appps are FREE. The other thing I do is to listen to my body and stop impulsively looking for a cure. I have surrendered and acknowledged that I have FM and focus on things that bring me joy. This includes massages (Swiss) the Foot Spa and pedicures. The less stress and more relaxing I can do the less spasams I have. I also have learned that when I wake up in horrible pain I need to get up out of bed and stretch. I always helps. I am always surprised.

    Hang in there my FM friends and remember, be good to you.

  3. Mandy says:

    Since I never know how I’m going to feel from one day to the next, I made the decision years ago to not let my condition stop me from doing anything no matter how bad I feel. If we’ve made plans for a social event or something similar, I will not let pain ruin my fun! I find this attitude has actually made a huge difference in my life and allowed me to be almost “normal”(whatever that is). lol I don’t work outside the house, but spend most of my time being a Mom and taking care of my boys. It wears me out and there are good and bad days, but getting out for walks to stretch out my muscles, and massage and chiropractor all keep me going. Sodoku puzzles help keep my mind focused and knitting brings me peace. The cats provide snuggles and my man and family give me the support I need. I used to ask “Why me?” and feel sorry for myself, but I realized that I’m stronger than that and I have a lot of life left to live. I’m only 49, I want to travel more and have adventures and chronic pain isn’t going to stop me!

    • Robin Dix says:

      Mandy, you are a true warrior! Thank you for sharing the things that help you. I find moving helps me as well. I do crossword puzzles and word games to keep my brain sharper. I always wanted to learn how to knit

  4. vivianne says:

    Yes, I have adopted 6 dogs and 2 cats, we live in a big house with a very large garden, so, it is possible, I find my pets makes me feel good and relax, I also go for my daily morning walks 1 hr, not too fast, but I go in the Sun, we are very fortunate to live in the mountains of Panama where it is always spring, morning Sun afternoon rain, when the rain comes, yes, pain returns, but then I have my diner early, go to bed early with a good book, another plus for Me, we are retire, but, yes, no matter how young or old you are it is always a struggle, but giving up is not going to help, and I learned that I am the only one who can take care of my Fibromyalgia, so, be strong, do whatever you need to do…for YOU,,,,,don,t give up….some days are better then others, take one moment at the time….e-mail to me if you wish,,,,,[email protected]

  5. Dede says:

    I find prayer, especially in the middle of the night when hot pain won’t allow me to find a comfortable resting position, is helpful. I may not be sleeping, but I am resting and my mind is on God instead of me. During the day, I pour myself into my work — creative or not — all forms of work keep my mind off of the pain. I have seven sons, two cats, two dogs, a fish, a loving husband and a demanding consulting business that I run from my home on my terms. I am a volunteer at my church. All of these things keep me active and engaged. Most people do not know the all consuming, ceaseless pain that wraps me up like an extra layer of skin. I just keep going, until I can’t and then I accept, rest and wait until I can go again. Keeping my mind on something other than the pain is absolutely key. Slowing down — like getting into the car for an hour long drive between appointments, or watching from the stands while a kid plays a sport, listening to a lecture, or sitting through church services — brings on an awareness of pain — BIG pain. My mind turns inwards and I am no longer able to deny its existence. I’m very fortunate to have a loving God, devoted husband, great kids and cuddly animals for times like these.
    Fibro fatigue is different. When fatigue hits without warning just prior to or at the end of a severe flare, NOTHING but rest will do. I have an $8 air mattress and a $10 battery operated air pump in my car. If I have to rest while I’m out and about, I just rest. One of my clients knows this. I will close the door of the room I’m working in, blow up my mattress and nap for an hour and then get back to work. This has really helped lessen my anxiety about working away from home (and away from my bed.) It also keeps me and others safer on the road.
    I know this is a long response, but there is one other item I made that I cannot live without. I make ice bag cases (like pillow cases but smaller) out of kitchen tea bags by folding the towel in half and sewing up the sides. I put ice into ziploc bags (doubled up to keep them from leaking) and then put the plastic bags with ice into the ice bag case. I can keep ice on my hurting places for much longer with this soft barrier. I can use an ace bandage to secure the ice case to my arm, leg or back. This is one of my all-time favorite pain help.
    Blessings and peace! Peace and joy.

  6. Denise Bault says:

    Dede, I am happy you are able to still function at the level you do. I don’t know your age, but many of us who were in our 40’s used to do the same types of things, until this illness progressed. I’m now 58 and had to stop working at 52. I had COMPLETELY and utterly worn myself out. I have often wondered had I slowed down when fibromyalgia hit instead of going gangbusters, perhaps I wouldn’t be disabled now? Who knows…just remember to take care of yourself. I agree that when we focus on something outside our illness, it does help!

  7. Vee says:

    I just had a FIBRO flare and another medical issue together. It was rough, but my dear sister came over to take care of me. I still found time to stretch daily which really helps. I would like a dog, but have allergies. But anyway, I like this site and your comments. I am not alone.

  8. Dede says:

    Hi Denise. I am 48. And yes, the disease is obviously progressing. I was formally diagnosed in 2010, but know I have had it for sometime before I was diagnosed, probably since a severe neck injury in 2004. The pain and fatigue are progressing. I have also been diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune disease which causes Lupus-like symptoms called Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder. Steroids used to battle a massive flare killed the bones in all of my major joints — hips, knees and ankles. I’ve had core decompression and stem cell insertion into my hips and knees but cannot do anything for my ankles but pray.
    I’ve decided to live everyday as best I can, now, while I can. Thank you for your kind advice. I so very badly WANT a cure for Fibromyalgia. Current therapies are pretty much useless. All I can do is TRY to minimize the pain.

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