What I Grieve for as a Woman with Fibromyalgia

What I Grieve for as a Woman with Fibromyalgia

Through the Fog

In the spring of 2010, I became a certified medical assistant. I was really excited and looked forward to working with patients. I had done internships at a family medical practice and an OB-GYN office. I had wanted to work in the healthcare field since I was a junior in high school. Once my symptoms worsened and I got my diagnosis, well, that dream died a painful death. 

Initially, when I was spending so much time in bed due to severe, debilitating fatigue, my husband didn’t get it and wasn’t very compassionate. He eventually came around and his empathy bloomed like a rare flower. He used his gift of serving to take care of me. Unfortunately, that eventually caused us to become more like patient and caregiver than husband and wife. That broke my heart!

Maintaining friendships is challenging. Because I no longer drive and am not always up for company, most of my friends have gone on with their lives. I remain just a blip on their radar. I know so many of you can relate. Loneliness is not something any of us would have chosen. We were made to be in a community.

I grieve all of that and so much more, such as:

  • My weakened muscles that prevent me from going on long walks.
  • The fatigue that keeps me mostly bedbound.
  • My inability to get in and out of a tub, which prevents me from soaking in a long, hot bath.
  • The brain fog that takes over when I least expect it.
  • Being robbed of the joy of cooking.
  • Being unable to sit for long periods of time due to tailbone pain.

At times, I have to allow myself a good cry because the losses pile up and need to be released like a rusty old valve. You and I may grieve differently and over different things that we have lost along the way in this journey, but I’m thankful for the comradery we can find here. 

It is an honor to walk this journey with you!


Note: Fibromyalgia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Fibromyalgia News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to fibromyalgia.


  1. Christine Lynch says:

    I share your pain. Take comfort in your excellent writing ability that gives comfort to hundreds if not thousands of others. And don’t give up. The biggest lesson I’ve learned in my seven decades of life is that things change. Nothing remains the same. Today’s circumstances may be just a fuzzy memory a year from now. Like you, I find writing therapeutic and have recently published my second book that describes my journey. It’s called More Than Tender Points: A Fibromyalgia Memoir. I’m sure you’d see yourself on many of my pages. Try to look toward the future and build the best life you can with the resources you have. And give your husband a special hug today!!

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