It’s so easy to feel like we are a burden on our family and friends. I know I struggled with that for years, and there are times I still do. However, I would like to see myself more as a blessing and less as a burden. I’m a work in progress.
I’ve had moms tell me they think their children would be better off without them. They are unable do the things they suppose their children need from them, so they lay on the sofa feeling like a burden. I tell them their children would rather have a mom on the sofa who loves them and can do simple things with them, than not to have her at all.
I have felt like a burden at times to my husband. He does so much and never complains. I feel guilty that I can’t do the things I want, like cleaning and cooking. I’m thankful he sees me as a blessing and not a burden. I’m trying to see myself as a blessing to him and not as a burden. I know some of the things that speak love to him and I work on doing those. Have you ever read The 5 Love Languages? My love language is words of affirmation and my husband’s is acts of service. I know he always appreciates things I do special for him. Emptying the dishwasher and finding laundry are two of the things I can comfortably do, and I know they speak love loudly to him.
Oftentimes we get the message that we are no longer good enough, that we are not as useful as we used to be, and certainly not as useful as we’d like to be, or that others perceive we should be. That can make us feel like such a burden. We can easily lose sight of the fact that we are a blessing. We bring something to others that we alone are uniquely able to bring. We may not be able to do the dishes, but we can leave a sweet note in our partner’s or child’s lunch. We may not be able to go grocery shopping, but we can order our groceries to be delivered and say something to bring a smile to the face of the deliverer. Simple things really do matter.
Here’s another sign to write down and place where you’ll see it daily: I AM A BLESSING, NOT A BURDEN
Sometimes we need to disregard the voices in our head, or inconsiderate words spoken to us, that make us feel as if we are a burden. You are amazing and you’re here for a purpose. Never doubt that and never give someone the permission to say otherwise. Life with fibromyalgia is hard enough.
Make yourself a list of all the ways you are indeed a blessing and keep it handy to refer to on those days when you feel like a burden.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Note: Fibromyalgia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Fibromyalgia News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to fibromyalgia.
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